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   In case you haven’t already guessed, I’m tired of the Bible studies and church “women’s groups” that perpetuate and reinforce gender stereotypes, using “the Proverbs 31 woman” or “created to be his helpmeet” paradigms as a sole starting point for Christian womanhood or femininity. 

 

Having participated in and taught zillions of “women’s Bible studies” over the past 30 years or so, I’ve found that many of these *resources* base their definitions of “biblical womanhood” (and like terms) on a model of maleness.  (I could name specific “ministries” and titles, but I’ll refrain.)  I’m also tired of the mindset that essentially reduces “biblical womanhood” to a dandified cook and maid service, claiming “marching orders” from an unfortunate, inadequate rendering of Genesis 2:18. *

 

 

What frequently proceeds from the “helpmeet” paradigm  are narrow definitions and strait-jacketed stereotypes.  Rather than dignifying women as unique reflections of the imago dei,  “female” is defined in terms of or based upon “male.”  The result of this model is a definition of “Christian woman” that views women solely and wholly as ribs, helpers, appendages, accessories and after-thoughts, rather than as “full-bodied, fully-souled images of God.”

 

The Hebrew word ezer in Genesis 2 is usually translated “helper*,” sometimes “companion” or “partner,” which comes a little closer to the full meaning of the word.  But it means so much more.  It pops up several times in Scripture: Exodus 18:4, Deut. 33:7, Deut. 33:29, Ps.20:2, Ps. 70:5, Ps. 115:11, Ps. 121:1-2, Ps. 146:5. 

  

God calls himself an ezer

 

The word means “helper,” but just as a starting point.  An ezer - used to describe Woman in the Genesis 2 passage - is so much more: a delivering, warring, supporting, shielding, defending, rescuing, capable, strong, and vibrant female image bearer of God.  A uniquely feminine reflection of His glory.

 

 Think about that the next time you hear a sermon, read a book, or attend a Bible study that camps out at Genesis 2:18 and defines Woman as a “helper.”  We would do well to pencil these phrases into the margins of our Bibles to refresh and expand our understanding of Woman.

 

* For more on this “translation fossil,” visit:

 

http://stoned-campbelldisciple.blogspot.com/2006/07/what-did-god-say-genesis-2.html

 

Also check out: Theological Foundations for Male and Female Relationships from the Journal of the Evangelical Theological Society, Dec. 1998, by Stanley Grenz:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3817/is_199812/ai_n8814996?tag=artBody;col1

 

For an interesting tangential discussion from Christians for Biblical Equality, visit:

http://blog.cbeinternational.org/2008/05/women-in-ministry-why-ask/

 

 

– Folks, we’re just getting started.  More later.  Stay tuned. —

“Soulation”

Food for thought in our current series.  Check my blogroll for a link to  Soulation.  Visit my sidebar under My Book Reviews for a review of Fincher’s recently released book, Ruby Slippers: How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home.

More later this week.  Stay tuned!

 

Eponine (Lea Salonga) and Marius (Michael Ball) in the heart-rending A Little Fall of Rain.  It’s a little fuzzy in the musical, but in the book by Victor Hugo, Eponine sacrifices herself for Marius by deliberately stepping into the line of fire of a sniper who’s aiming for Marius:

Lea Salonga opens Act 2 as Eponine with On My Own:

Q & A

In what century or decade did Evangelicals formally embrace the spiritual equality between men and women: 

 

A)      A.D. 153

B)      The third century

C)      The 1980s

D)      The 1860s

 

For all you history buffs - and others -  the correct answer is C) The 1980s.

 

The first group to do so was Christians for Biblical Equality, in 1987 with their statement, “Men, Women and Biblical Equality.”  The second was “The Danvers Statement” in 1988.

 

Does that seem a little curious?  That women were largely viewed as spiritually inadequate or inferior to men until the 1980s?

 

– Our discussion on this topic continues next week.  See ya soon.  –

   “While there are some glimmering moments along the church’s history (the Protestant Reformation, for instance, brought out “the priesthood of all believers” providing justification for women to read and understand the Bible, Puritans began instructing females in doctrine and writing tracts, Quakers provided places for women to teach and preach), most of the church has frowned on women acting as full-bodied, full-souled images of God.  The message that has been drummed into our minds is that something is inadequate in our being; somehow we don’t make the final cut of image bearer of God.  Somehow we are more polluted by the curse, so we live in an attempt to cover these scars from Eden.

 

When `gentle and quiet spirit’ becomes merely modest clothing, purity before marriage, and anti-assertive personalities, we see how womanhood becomes about covering and holding back.  When women are told that femininity is ruining the church, they start to wonder if it’s their fault.  How many women have been asked to wrestle with the commands addressed, the real meaning of “gentle and quiet sprit”?  How free are we to be honest and transparent as we share our thoughts on Christian womanhood”?

 

 How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home  From Ruby Slippers: How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home 

By Jonalyn Grace Fincher

Zondervan, 2007

For more, visit: www.soulation.com 

 

 

 

- To be continued -

   Why is “biblical womanhood” inevitably – sometimes solely – linked with being married with children?  Single women, teens or widows are excluded from the “biblical womanhood” paradigm?  (More on this in later posts.  Stay tuned.)

 

Last May someone in my church videotaped kids’ responses to the question, “What does your mom do?” or “Describe your mom.”  Responses from two year-olds to sixth graders ranged from thoughtful to hilarious.  What struck me most about this exercise, which was shown on-screen on Mother’s Day, was the number one response, rehearsed over and over again like the refrain to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”: My mom cooks… She bakes…. Mom gets groceries… She does my hair… Helps me get dressed… Cooks breakfast….

 

And so on.….

 

Nothing wrong with any of that, but is that what Christian mothers, wives, and women are?  Defined by Betty Crocker, June Cleaver and Martha Stewart?  Our lives revolve around Kenmore, Maytag and G.E.?  Our identity is in what we do?  

 

Take it another step.  What constitutes “biblical womanhood?”  How do “Christian women” look, think, and act?  Why?

 

Try this: Google “biblical womanhood.”  (That’s okay.  I’ll wait.)  Dollars to donuts most of the hits returned have something to do with homemaking, sewing, cooking and baking, godly living, being a helpmate, being submissive to your husband, maintaining a meek and quiet spirit, being a keeper at home, dressing modestly (read: skirts rather than pants), child rearing, and home training.

 

Fine.  Still sounds like an emphasis on doing.  Is something missing?  Is the “glass” half full, half empty, or neither?

 

— To be continued next week –

“Some Total”

 

Welcome to our newest “mini-series,” where I’ll kick off our current meme with a question: What does it mean to be “feminine”?  What do you enjoy most about your femininity?  About being a woman?  What is “Christian femininity”? 

 

Responses I’ve heard vary from “dressing up and wearing make-up”, “being a wife and mom” to something about “a quiet and gentle spirit” to “keepers of the home” to …?  Some may also include something about perfume and panty hose, cosmetics, jewelry, and lace.

 

Whatever the response, furrowed brows and glazed eyes are common.  Maybe that’s because at the heart of the question is another question.

 

Hormones, emotions, apparel and anatomy aside, it seems that our culture isn’t quite sure what a woman is, or what femininity means.  Other than the obvious physical features, what makes women different from men?  Or are we?  Do “affinities” for dresses, lace, Limoges and chocolate constitute femininity?  Is “femininity” a synonym for quiet, soft, or curvy?  What makes a chick flick “chicky”?  Are we different from men in our intellect, emotional make-up, values, priorities, tastes, preferences, perspectives?  Isn’t that all just cultural?  (I’m not attaching specific Bible verses to these comments.  I could, but I’d rather you do your own digging.)

 

The question may become even more complex within Christian circles, where we seem to work overtime reacting to and separating ourselves from The World’s view of womanhood.  We focus on Genesis 2:18, Titus 2 and “the Proverbs 31” icon and themes like “created to be his help meet.” 

 

The church often teaches - explicity or otherwise - that femininity is something good Christian women “do”: marry, raise children, (wo) man the church kitchen and social committee, teach Sunday school, sing in the choir, homeschool, bake bread, garden, cook three meals a day, and “look pretty.”  In the church, “feminine” Christian women don’t debate, make their own decisions, speak their mind or disagree with the pastor.  Many Christian books, Bible studies and sermons on the subject launch into lists of Bible verses that invariably revolve around what a “Christian woman” does. 

 

 

According to these paradigms, “femininity” is based on apparel and…. a dandified To Do list.  So here’s another question: Is the sum total of Christian womanhood based on how a woman looks, dresses, and acts?  Is “femininity” based solely or wholly on what a woman looks like and how she behaves… or something else?

 

 

 

- To be continued –

Excuses, Excuses

‘Tis the season for rounding up volunteers for Children’s Ministries summer programs – Sunday school, children’s church, VBS, etc.  Do any of these sound familiar?  A compilation of some actual responses from church members who were asked to volunteer for ONE Sunday this summer:

 

   “Unfortunately, I am not able to help this year. I can offer my

prayers…. I have my hands full right now with work, family and school. Try me again next summer……”

 

“My daughter just graduated from high school and will be going away to college in the fall.  We’re not taking on any outside commitments.  We just want to spend the summer focusing on our family and spending time with her.”  (How much time does one 18 y.o need?)

 

“I’m with my kids all day, every day.  I need a break on Sundays.”  (And what do you think the rest of us are doing?)

 

“I watch my grandson three mornings a week, and I’m just exhausted.  I need a break!”  (From what?!)

 

“My summer is crazy as of right now. but if you email me I’ll try to sub for you. All the Sundays I’m not at a sport or other youth camp I’ll sub for you.”  (Is that a Yes or a No?)

 

“I think this year I will take the summer off from involvement; however I wouldn’t mind helping somewhere in the fall.  Summer is just too busy.”

 

“I’d love to help out BUT I’m really swamped.  Can you find someone else?”  (We’re a little thin on “someone else’s” at the moment…)

 

“I need to take more time for myself.”  (Don’t we all….?)

 

“I don’t have any kids that age anymore.”  (A perfect candidate!)

 

“My husband doesn’t want me to do it this summer because we don’t know when we’re going to be here or be gone.”  (Ever heard of a calendar?)

 

“We’re not going to do anything this summer.  We just want to relax.”  (Now there’s a real “servant’s heart” for you.)

 

“We’re going to be out of town the entire month of June.” 

“Excellent, because we have open slots in July and August.  Can you fill one of those?”

“Well, the 4th of July is always so busy…”

“How ‘bout late July?”

“We may be busy…”

 

***

COMING SOON:

More thoughts on “the Proverbs 31 woman.”  It’s not what you think.  Stay tuned.

Now Available

 

 

Just released from Uncial Press!

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Guys via this light-hearted look at some wild and wacky adventures from a real-life “testosterone farm.” Told with mouth firmly planted in cheek by the mother of four sons, ages “Mawwwwwwwwm!” to Knows Everything.

Chapters include: Mutiny on the Broccoli, Survivor, Remember the Alamo, Getting Annoying, Dishwashing 101, Attractive Nusiances, Romulan Ale and Nothing Says “I Love You” Like a Blender.  Just released in ebook format from Uncial Press.

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– J. Denby, Publisher and Author

 Available at: http://www.uncialpress.com/books/guysando/guysando.html

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