“Potluck Relationships”?


“Opening our arms to each other is the most difficult, ongoing battle in any relationship” writes Dan Allender in The Healing Path.

What do you think? Is it difficult for you to “open your arms” to others – even Christians – or maybe especially Christians? Why?

Allender offers this insight:

“Over time I will hurt you, and you will hurt me. If we are mere acquaintances who chat superficially, then we can be friendly long enough to keep our mutual sin at bay. Church-foyer and potluck relationships require little more than civility. Friendly conversation can be a wonderful prologue to more meaningful engagement. It can also be a mockery of true community (see our discussion on this topic above). Nothing is wrong with small talk as long as one’s heart is alert enough to see cracks in the conversation that may allow for deeper entry into the other’s heart.” (p. 249).

Question. Most people claim to crave deeper relationships, something beyond the “potluck relationship” Allender catalogues here. But how many folks – even Christians – do you know who are genuinely interested in putting in the time and energy needed to develop and cultivate one? Flip side: What happens when you are interested in a deeper relationships –beyond the “McFriends” type of “drive-thru” relationship – and the other party isn’t?


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